Blog #004 ... Clueless in the Pause.... Peri/Meno/Post
4 days ago
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Clueless in the pause….. peri/meno/post
Anyone else feeling clueless in the pause? I’m peri and totally feeling out of sorts. When I sat down to write this piece I’d just had my first anxiety episode and a couple of days later can still feel the lingering sense of cortisol the stress hormone in my system, it was so destabilising it felt like I’d been attacked. I’m not usually affected with such acute anxiety so this hit really heavy.
So during this October, menopause awareness month, I’m excited to tell everyone about a project I’ve been working on - "Clueless in the pause… peri/meno/post" is a podcast talking about all things Menopause. I’ve talked to a lot of female experts in their field, all running their own businesses with their own stories about menopause, the symptoms and what we can do to support ourselves. I have learned so much from each topic. It’s been so informative speaking to these incredible women and hearing their top tips to help us navigate this time.
I’m firmly into the Peri stage and have been bombarded with symptoms I’ve never experienced before particularly mood swings (sorry Simon), much heavier periods, PMT, brain fog, forgetfulness, changing skin and absolute exhaustion after ovulation. In one episode I actually have a brain fog moment trying to remember the word "survey!". Haha, I deliberated to edit it out and decided its life, I’m talking about being honest and open so editing it out isn’t really an option…
Talking to friends both older and younger it's clear that, while there’s a lot of information out there, it’s not always cutting through. One friend said they’re still ok as they have a regular period, which I also do (frighteningly clockwork). When you’re not looking for it, you can easily brush aside symptoms you’re experiencing. Most people associate menopause to be something in the distant future not realising there are women in their 20s who have gone through Menopause.
Menopause the trend
As it’s become somewhat of a trendy topic, so the market has grown for menopause products, menowashing how their supplements, magic powders, clothes, techniques can evaporate your symptoms. Coaches, “menopause fitness or life coaches” who have no certifications promising to change your life. There are many companies doing really great things to support their employees and some who are signalling their support producing leaflets of awareness to employees but little in the way of actual support to help women stay in their roles.
Menopause some stats
The stress and anxiety these symptoms can cause are immeasurable and as we all know, every woman is unique and so will their menopause journeys be. Some will experience hardly any symptoms and others will feel it overwhelmingly. Staggering are the statistics around women leaving their jobs due to menopause symptoms - 1 in 10 1. If you consider in the UK alone there are 16 million women of working age 2 almost 4 4 million 45-55 that’s a lot of experience potentially leaving the working environment. It’s devastating for women but it’s also not good for the economy. Less taxes paid due to no work, claiming benefits for sickness, in the long term less equal pay due to time out and lower pensions than males who haven’t taken time out means that women are all round poorer due to a natural change out of their control. All of this makes our economy worse off, companies loose great experience and women loose self-confidence.
Often menopause coincides at the time of life when we are at the peak experience in our careers, the top of our game, and these symptoms creep in almost unnoticed and with a rush can be very debilitating. It's estimated there are 14 3 million working days lost every year due to menopause symptoms.
So, what is the Menopause?
Broadly speaking the journey is broken down into 3 phases: -
Peri-Menopause is the transitional period leading up to menopause, characterised by fluctuating hormone levels. Symptoms can include anxiety, irregular periods, mood swings, hot flashes, brain fog and night sweats.
Menopause officially begins one year after your last period. Symptoms can vary widely between women, though can be similar to perimenopause and each journey is completely unique.
Post-Menopause follows menopause and brings its own set of challenges and adjustments. Hormone levels stabilise at a lower level.
It’s the 3rd phase of a woman’s life, after puberty and the reproductive stages. During puberty we’re at school, hormones are changing. Those emotions, jeeees I remember them!! If women are able and choose to become mothers then hormones change again. During this time we are legally supported to take time out from work and a workplace assessment needs to be carried out before women return to work. In menopause it’s a desert of tumbleweed, with hormones changing again. During menopause there is no legal right to ask for support or flexibility in your work due to your symptoms (however menopause is protected under the disability act – so if you are discriminated against because of the menopause you can challenge your company legally) if you can work with your employer for understanding and flexibility this is the best route to take and is at the discretion of your employer.
Speak up!
If you have a female in your life who has been through menopause, speak to her about her experience. It's startling the women in my life who knew so little and ‘just got on with it’. Some left work because of their symptoms and didn’t talk to anyone at work, friends or family because 'people don’t want to know’. Some thought they started menopause in their mid 40’s and didn’t realise the emotions, brain fog, anxiety and emotional outbursts were completely normal and had not talked to anyone about it! I can’t think of anything more isolating.
A recent survey has shown that 60% of divorces are initiated by women in their 40’s-60’s peaking at 45-49. While menopause cannot be the only reason for this, it does highlight the pressure and strain this places on women.
The mission
This is why I’m so passionate talking about menopause and the symptoms, sometimes to the chagrin of my husband too much, but communication and understanding are key for our family and friends to know it’s not me, it’s my hormones. Talking to the women in my life they were all in agreement that being able to talk about this openly would have made their experience much better.
So…. I’m on a mission to openly discuss my experiences and to share the experience and tips from experts in their fields. By openly discussing our experiences we normalise menopause, ensuring that no woman feels alone on this journey and hopefully get to a point where we can celebrate this next phase in our life into our wise crone era.
So here we go….
"Clueless in the Pause," whether you're peri, meno, or post.
We’re here to talk all things MENOPAUSE, the things we’re all thinking, feeling and experiencing but not talking about. Trust me, someone is feeling exactly what you're feeling.
Each week, I'll be joined by an expert in their field. We'll delve into pressing topics like "why do I have strong annoying feelings about my husband the same three days every month?", "why do I feel my internal thermometer has jogged off to the Caribbean?", "why do I need strength training in my life?", "why do I break out like a teenager one week and the next I’m in the Sahara skin desert?" and "why do my periods flood, ruining my best best jeans?".
We’ll dive deep into the symptoms, why we experience them and provide easy actionable tips to help.
Launching on Thursday 14th November, we start with the beautiful Lee Dancy, sharing her experience of life post-menopause and her reassuance that there is light at the end of the tunnel.